No, I’m really not.
My new living arrangement is pretty cool. The dishwasher is practically silent compared to the racket of the one at my previous residence. I’m not crazy. But my landlord (hereafter referred to as ‘penis’) is a huge waste of space and air. He could be a likeable human, if he was a mute penis, but clearly, this is not the case. As for the return of the security deposit, Penis is predictably pulling every dirty trick he can find out of his circa 1993 Philadelphia Eagles cap. Anyone who obnoxiously over-wears the apparel of out-of-state/rival team sportswear should be automatically branded ‘Penis.”
As I was saying, the new place is pretty damn saucy. I have a big soaking tub and a shower, the fancy kind that is all glass so Taco can continue to stalk see me even when I’m luxuriating. He is the most charming dog ever.
OK: New goal: take the national certification exam by the end of July. It is time to do this once and for all. So wish me luck, ladies and gentlemen. It would be good to have some luck. My deadline is steadfastly approaching, and I have a lot of studying to do.
