“it was one of those times where nothing was lost because
nothing
had ever been found…”

–Charles Bukowski
It was a very strange weekend, indeed. I learned something about myself:
I have grown. Old habits die hard, but sometimes, when they come back, their seduction isn’t quite as polished as before. It is ok, pardon my french,–to fuck up. Repeating the mistake/consequence cycle can bring out the truth in how far one has come in the journey to be strong and successful.
I used to get so down after I made an unfortunate ‘unhealthy choice’, I’d go in self-destruct mode. It was easy to turn on myself. But now I just say, “so f—ing what” and plan whatever 180 needs to happen next, quick damage control, no time to sink,
no time to punish
myself
and wait.