Free Advice: Uninvited to the Gig

Dear 79sparrows,

So, I’ve been hooking up w/ this guy all summer. He’s a local musician in several projects. He’s done 2 shows since we started hooking up-the 1st he “un”invited me too + the 2nd he didn’t mention. I made the decision to dis his ass right back after the “uninvited” convo and I don’t take his calls or see him. I prefer not to go to local band shows since I’m a spoiled elitist bitch…But, inquiring mind needs to know-why doesn’t he want me at his shows, why’s it a big deal?

Signed, a confused MissMimosa

Miss Mimosa,

This “Band Guy” has compartmentalized his social life, and he has chosen to keep you separate from his gig nights.  It could be because he is shy, but if that was the case, he wouldn’t be on stage.  Another theory is that Band Guy has reason to avoid having his worlds to collide. Maybe he can’t deal with the ‘pressure’ of having someone he is hooking up with at the show where he’d have to explain who you are when his friends/bandmates inevitably ask, “how do you know Miss Mimosa?”  Ask yourself why he does not want to explain who you are.   Quite possibly, he is living a life where he has not tied up loose ends, or ‘manned up’ to others. 

It is ok to have him around for sex, as long as you can accept there are things about himself that he is not volunteering. 

Have you ever asked him why he doesn’t want you at shows?  I’m curious what his response would be.

All the Best,


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