My love life has always been strange. I rarely get involved in committed relationships with men. I just haven’t found one I can husband-up. That doesn’t mean I never get laid; once in a while I’ll get it in with an old stand-by. He is like a recurring one-night stand. It’s normal and a bit dysfunctional all at the same time. Why don’t I date? Why have I learned to separate my heart from my body?
Lately, I get ‘that feeling’ late at night, lying in bed. I think to myself, “I’d do better with someone lying next to me.” I’m craving something new: steady human companionship. Security. Someone stable with whom to cuddle, if you will. Living with a man is something I’ve never done. I spent 7 consecutive days with a boyfriend once, when we were on vacation.
Now at 31, the desire to have a man around is stronger. Just need to find the right one. Someone who “gets” me… and is as crazy about me as I am for him. It will happen. Will it happen online? Probably not. I don’t do internet dating. Don’t trust my own judgement, plus the whole process makes me nervous. It’s not natural, dammit!
