My Very Worst Date

After much encouragement to try an online dating service, I decided to go the el cheapo route and signed up for Plenty of Fish. My inbox was immediately bombarded with messages, most consisting of one or two incoherent sentences. One gentleman caller stood out from the rest, and after communicating for a few months, I…

Free Advice: Looking for a Traditional Housewife

To:    79sparrows@gmail.com Date:  Sept 30, 2010 Good evening.  My name is Gustavo.  Maybe you could point me in the right direction.  I’m a 39 year old man, single, and easy on the eyes.  I’ve never had a problem scoring with the ladies, but keep striking out when it comes to locking down ‘Miss Right.’  My…

Deep thoughts about my Love Life

My love life has always been strange.  I rarely get involved in committed relationships with men.  I just haven’t found one I can husband-up.  That doesn’t mean I never get laid; once in a while I’ll get it in with an old stand-by.  He is like a recurring one-night stand.  It’s normal and a bit…

Wish YOU were HERE

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”    –Pride & Predjudice I only read the Cliff Notes of Pride & Predjudice in 9th grade, but I know a good line when I see one.  It’s almost 11pm on a Friday night; I’m avoiding Facebook and Myspace is a ghost town. …

After the “friends with benefits” are Gone

It has been 5 months or so since I engaged in sexytimes.   I like sex.  Just not so much that I’ll associate with the men with whom I used to have sexual relations.   These men were not “boyfriends,” just that old cliché’  known as  “friends with benefits.”  During my 20s, these faux relationships seemed worth it, since I didnt…

Big Fat Jerks

The thing with jerks, is that the whole relationship revolves around their happiness.   Have you ever noticed that?   Since no one has yet developed a handy pamplet listing indicators of jerk-dom, I’ll break it down, using my wealth of experience.  Through the years, there were many interventions.  People did their best to explain that the…